Beyond the Sandwich: Leading with Radical Candor
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What if the most powerful form of leadership isn't inspiration — but honesty? Leadership isn't always inspiring speeches and high-fives. Sometimes it's sweaty palms, hard truths, and the courage to lean into discomfort. And how we deliver hard truths matters as much as the truths themselves.
Recently, I found myself in one of those moments every leader faces. A project hadn't gone well. In the past, I might have reached for the familiar comfort of the sandwich method — wrapping critical feedback between slices of praise, hoping to soften the blow. But this time, I chose a different path.
The Permission to Be Direct
Before diving into what went wrong, I did something that felt counterintuitive: I asked for permission to be direct. "I'm going to give you some candid feedback about this project," I said. "It's going to be straightforward, and it might be uncomfortable, but it's coming from a place of wanting us all to succeed."
That moment of transparency — that simple act of signaling intent — changed everything. Instead of blindsiding my team with criticism disguised as constructive feedback, I created space for honest dialogue. It wasn't about easing into the hard part; it was about showing respect by being clear. This is what Kim Scott calls Radical Candor: caring personally while challenging directly.
But here's where most leadership advice gets it wrong. Too many so-called leaders mistake their title for permission to be brutally honest without consequence. They confuse hierarchy with license — believing that because their signature block says "Director" or "VP," they've somehow earned the right to speak without emotional intelligence, consideration, or care.
This is leadership's greatest counterfeit: entitled candor masquerading as authentic feedback.
The Entitlement Trap vs. Earned Authority
The difference between entitled candor and earned candor isn't just semantic — it's foundational:
Entitled Candor says: "I'm going to tell you exactly what I think because I'm the boss." Earned Candor says: "I've built enough trust with you that I can share difficult truths because I genuinely care about your success."
Real permission to be candid isn't granted by organizational charts — it's earned through consistent demonstration of what are called the 4 C’s of trust:
Competence: You know what you're talking about
Character: Your motives are aligned with the team's success, not your ego
Care: You're invested in their growth, not just their performance
Consistency: Your feedback comes from the same place every time — genuine concern for excellence
When these elements exist, candor becomes collaboration. Without them, it becomes coercion.
Building the Foundation for Truth
Radical candor doesn't exist in a vacuum. You can't wake up one morning, decide to be brutally honest, and expect your team to thank you for it. The permission to speak directly — and to receive direct feedback — must be cultivated over time through consistent action and demonstrated care.
This foundation starts with the leader. It starts with us.
When we lead from the heart, when our intentions are transparent and our care is evident, we earn the right to have those difficult conversations. Our teams begin to understand that our directness isn't an attack — it's an investment. It's proof that we believe in their potential enough to tell them the truth, even when the truth is hard to hear.
In my recent experience, I could be direct because I had spent months building trust with this team. They knew I was invested in their success. They understood that my feedback, however uncomfortable, was designed to help them grow, not to tear them down. This trust didn't happen overnight — it was built through smaller moments of vulnerability, consistency in my actions, and a track record of supporting their development.
The Emotional Intelligence Bridge
The space between "too soft" (sandwich method) and "too harsh" (entitled brutality) isn't empty — it's where emotional intelligence lives. This is where authentic leaders operate:
They read the room and the person
They consider timing, context, and emotional state
They deliver truth with precision, not as a blunt instrument
They follow up with support, not abandonment
The sandwich method — praise, criticism, praise — has dominated management training for decades. On the surface, it seems compassionate. But when we bury important feedback between compliments, we dilute its impact. The message gets lost. Worse, we train our teams to brace for criticism every time they hear praise, creating anxiety instead of confidence.
The question isn't whether to use any particular method, but whether our feedback — however delivered — builds trust and drives collective excellence.
The Power of Earned Candor
When you lead from intention — when your team knows you genuinely care about their growth and the team's success — candor becomes a gift rather than a weapon. It becomes evidence of your investment in them, not proof of their inadequacy.
In that project debrief, I didn't sugarcoat what went wrong. I asked direct questions. But I also made it clear that this wasn't about blame — it was about learning and improving together. Because at the end of the day, we're one team. Our success is interconnected. When one of us struggles, we all struggle. When one of us grows, we all benefit.
The Ripple Effect of Honest Leadership
When done correctly, the team didn't just accept the feedback — they build on it, offering their own insights about what could be improved and taking ownership of their roles in both the challenges and the solutions.
This is the power of psychological safety combined with radical candor. When people feel secure enough to hear hard truths and share their own perspectives, magic happens. Problems get solved faster. Innovation increases. Trust deepens.
But perhaps most importantly, everyone rises to meet the moment. When we stop treating our teams like they're fragile and start treating them like the capable professionals they are, they respond accordingly.
United in Purpose, Honest in Practice
Our clients deserve our best work—delivered by teams that communicate openly, address problems directly, and strive for excellence without excuse. That level of service only happens when we’re willing to hold ourselves and each other accountable.
Candor in leadership isn’t about being harsh or asserting dominance. It’s about believing we can achieve more together—when we speak the truth with care, not just confidence. Radical candor isn’t brutal honesty without compassion. It’s clear, courageous communication rooted in respect.
As leaders, we face a choice: default to comfort and technique, or do the harder work of fostering environments where truth-telling is welcomed and growth is shared. Trust is built through directness, not detoured by it.
The path forward calls for vulnerability first, honesty always, and a commitment to shared success. When candor becomes connection, conversations become catalysts. And when we lean into discomfort, we don’t just lead—we transform.
That's what real leadership looks like. That’s the gold standard.
If you're looking for a structured space to reflect more deeply, subscribe today and download my Golden Leadership Cycle 90-Day Journal as a great place to start.